When I wasn't thinking about why I was kept alive, I was thinking why did this happen to me? Did I not pray every night? Did I hold my self from using profanity? Did I not strive to follow what I believe to be God's teachings? Why, why, why? Perhaps this clip from the film, Chinese Connection starring Bruce Lee more describes the manner of my questioning.
As soon as I came to a state of consciousness, my brother, Fatu, was there. It's crazy to me that he got there so fast, as I don't think I was knocked out for more than a day but as I look back in my facebook posts, the first entry comes on Wednesday December 15, 2010.
My brother and I have a pretty tight bond as brothers go. When we were little we used to rent video games and attempt to beat them during the rental period. This involved somebody playing the video at all times for 48 hours straight. The trick was when one needed to sleep the other took the controller. Once the person who had the controller could no longer hold his eyelids open, he reached over and awoke the other who was sleeping right next to him. The other would take his shift.
We always played better when we were both awake because for some reason we were blessed to be the ultimate video gaming compliments. One of us was blessed with supernatural hand eye coordination, to do the most difficult combos in the universe. The other was blessed with the fastest finger (useful for Blanka electricity, E. Honda hand slap, Chun Li legs of fury, etc.) and a puzzle solving brain. We've been on thousands of adventures like King Koopas flying ship, Shadow Moses Island, the Outworld, etc.
I am so grateful for him being able to spend Christmas with me. He missed his family very much and sacrificed some precious moments to be with me. Having gone through something very similar, he was able to give me comfort and advice that not many people could. We were able to look straight into my arms, with the crimson red muscles and starch white tendons, and laugh. We made jokes of playing guitar on my tendons. He even made a video of my 2010 Christmas, using a song that is very appropriate for my line of thought ( Dear God 2.0 by the Roots). I just barely noticed it this Christmas Eve. Check it out!
Thankfully Sturgeon, the company I Ws working for, paid for my sisters to come. Many of my Uncles and my Aunty were able to come to Colorado and console and uplift me. I am thankful for them. The Matagi family always seems to pull together stronger in tragedies. They have done an excellent job when my mother or father, due to health and parole restrictions respectively, have been unable to attend to their children.
A couple of nurses, Ruby Turner of the burn unit and Jaque Hartnett of the rehab floor, stand out in my mind as awesome nurses. They both had the ability to not only attend to my physical needs but to do so with love as a motivation. Except, there was this one time when Ruby put my IV in my foot and got it all infected. Lol I forgive you Ruby.
I have many brothers from other mothers. Many belong to the IBEW. In particular there were Chris Johns, Josh Wanrow, and Brian Martin who came to my succor. Chris Johns even flew from Utah to visit an injured fellow lineworker whom he had only known for four years. He sacrificed time away from his wife and little girl to be with me. I have also a whole family in Kremmling, Colorado, the Carpenters, who probably have said hundreds of prayers on my behalf. They came down to give me hope.
There are so many who helped me last December that if I named them all, it would read like Santa's list of good children. Many could not make it to Colorado but I could feel their love through Facebook and sending gifts. I appreciate each and every single one of your contributions to lift me when I didn't want to live.
I recently posted that I was not happy or thankful to have survived on Facebook. On December 15, 2011 my little immediate family of sisters, in-laws, brother, mother, nieces and nephews had our Christmas party. It was a moment in time where I was thankful to have been there. I thought if I had passed away I might have been able to be there in spirit but I couldn't have interacted with them. For that, I am happy.
John chapter nine tells a story of a blind man being healed by Jesus. The disciples ask whether it was the blind man or the blind mans parents who had sinned and caused his blindness. Jesus responds in verse three, "Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him."
Perhaps in my case I can make a substitution for the last word "him" to "his friends and family." In my case instead of being cured from a disability I was allowed to be blessed with a disability so that, "the works of God should be manifest in [his friends and family.]" This gives me some insight to my question to god, "why did you keep me alive?" I am here to witness the works of God be manifest in my friends and family.
Just maybe a part of the reason I'm here is to see a friend fly from Salt Lake to bring me some Bula. Perhaps I needed to see the good in people to cheer for an injured guy who is laying in the hospital. Maybe I need to witnes someone bringing a No-Handed Bandit some SmashBurger. It's very conceivable that I'm here watch someone serve another in a way that they are unable to serve himself like feeding him some pizza.
At this time, I am happy to be alive to witness all your Christlike acts towards me and at this season to each other. May we continue to attempt to be like Christ not just this season but always. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Love you guys!